Where do I start? Since I last wrote, we have had two more doctor appointments. One with the specialist, and one with our regular obgyn. They are very concerned because Kyle's kidneys are getting very large and they are putting a lot of pressure on his diaphragm and heart . When we went to my regular ob appointment (which was about a week after my specialist appt.), the doctor measured me and she said I was measuring a little small, which of course was very scary. When our doctor went to find Kyle's hearbeat, Jason and I held our breath. Almost immediately she was able to find his heartbeat. We were relieved.
We are now going to the regular obgyn every two weeks and the specialist ( I have ultrasounds each time) every 4 weeks. The doctors want to be able to check Kyle's heart often.
Since finding out more information about Kyle's condition, we have tried to find people who have gone through this. To be honest, we felt alone and lost and felt like we were the only ones who have ever gone through this pain that we are feeling. We have been so very blessed to find people who have had babies with this same condition. I truly feel that God is giving us strength through talking with these people. They give us hope that they have lived through this and are able to go on and are stronger for it.
We know that with God's amazing grace we will get through this. Now, that is not to say that we don't have days when we sob all day long and are completely scared to death for what the future holds. The difference is we have eachother and our Heavenly Father to cling to. He promises us that He will never leave us or forsake us and He will go before us. It is our job to trust Him and to let Him carry us through these terrifying times.
We are grieving, but we are also taking joy in the times we are able spend with our sweet son. When I feel him move, it brings a smile to my face and tears of joy to my cheeks. We take joy when we are able to hear his heartbeat. Our last doctor assured us that he is not suffering and he is completely content in his momma's tummy. So, we are able to treasure this time with Kyle even more because we do not fear that he is in pain. We talk and sing to him and let him know that he is loved and cherished and always will be. He is our son, however short or long we have him in our life, He is our amazing gift from a God that loves Kyle even more than we do.
We have been so blessed from all of your prayers, cards, letters, gifts, and your visits. You have been wonderful and we are so very thankful for you in our lives. We can't say enough how much you mean to us. We love you.
"Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest."
Matthew 11:28
